If I Have Gay Children: 4 Biblical Promises from a Christian Parent


I’ll admit, the title agrees to a misconception.  To me, it is rather like naming it, “If My Child is a Sinner: 4 Biblical Promises from a Christian Parent.”  But in the spirit of some recent trending blogs (4 Promises from a Christian Pastor/Parent and A Rabbi’s 8 Promises), I want to address homosexuality specifically, and from a viewpoint glaringly absent from the others: the Biblical one.

So here are my 4 promises to my child from a Bible-believing, Christian parent:


1) I will raise them in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

By this is meant fearing God, hating sin, and treating the Scriptures with respect and as having authority over their lives.

Both articles cited above list as one of their promises: “If I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children.”  The promise, I gather, is that if they are going to be gay, they likely already are (hard to understand how it’s worded as a promise, or how the semicolon functions in this sentence, but I digress).  The conclusion being, “well, if they are that way, God made them that way, and we can’t (no, we shouldn’t) do anything to change it!”  What it really amounts to is: “I’m not going to fulfill my role as a parent to guide, correct, or teach my child…they are just going to do what they want to do.”

Let’s try it on other things that most self-professed Christians believe are still sins:  “God made me a thief;” “God made me a murderer;” “God made me a liar;” “God made me a pedophile;” “God made me love animals [bestiality];” “God made me love only myself.”  Not working the same, is it?  And yet the standard seems a bit double.  Why are these things wrong (ultimately)?  Is it because laws made them that way?  Society?  Or is it because God has declared these things evil?  It’s truly no wonder that those who tend to support homosexuality (or all letters of LGBT) have little regard for the Scriptures, and could really care less how they are directed to live.  We are all broken by the effects of the fall, we are all in need of forgiveness.  This is something these individuals never seem to understand, nor want to understand.

So then…

I promise to raise my child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  To fear God because He is holy.  To love God by obeying His commands.  To honor Him and do what pleases Him.  To trust in Jesus, because my child is born a sinner and needs a Savior.  And to instruct my child in the way that the Scriptures declare is best for him/her, because to truly love my child is to have their best interests at heart, even if that means not giving them everything they want.


2) I will love them.

The rest of these promises really flow from the first.

Love is defined Biblically, and it shows itself in action.  It is not some abstract emotion or theory attached to nothingness.  “God is love…In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:8-10).  God’s love is shown in action, and that action was sending His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  God does not simply declare a “love for the world,” He shows it.  

Here’s the point regarding child-rearing.  We do not simply say we “love them,” then show it by not caring anything for the decisions or actions they make or taking a hands-off approach; no, we give them direction, we speak truth to them, and we correct them when what they do might lead to their ruin (in this life or the next).  God defines love, and he tells us that to love our children is to instruct them in the ways that show love for God (Eph 6:4).

Furthermore, we are directed not only to love, but to speak truth.  “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ” (Eph 4:15), and again, “…let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18).  We love by speaking truth, even when it’s unpleasant.


3) I will not condone their sin [or any sin].

Again, if I love them and I am honest with them, then they will know that their homosexual desires (especially if acted on) are sinful, and an affront to God.  But if I raised them as I said I would, they would already know this, and they would know well enough that I will not allow for them to flaunt it around the rest of the family.  The same could be said if they were a heretic, promiscuous, atheistic, or a Mormon; I would allow them into my home and I would love them, but I would tell them their error/unbelief, plead with them, pray for them, and disallow them from spreading the error to the rest of my household.


4) I will pray for them.

Because I want to make this point by appealing to the opposite, I think it’s worth reading this “pastor’s” (the one cited in the first article above) words in full:

I won’t pray that God will heal or change or fix them. I will pray for God to protect them; from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at them, simply because of who they are. I’ll pray that He shields them from those who will despise them and wish them harm; who will curse them to Hell and put them through Hell, without ever knowing them at all. I’ll pray that they enjoy life; that they laugh, and dream, and feel, and forgive, and that they love God and humanity.

Above all, I’ll pray to God that my children won’t allow the unGodly treatment they might receive from some of His misguided children, to keep them from pursuing Him.

In other words, he won’t be praying for their soul, their conversion, their holiness, their sanctification, their love for God, their desire to know Christ, their respect for the Scriptures, their respect for the authorities over them, or their love for the church.  I promise that I will pray for my child in these ways.  And if they are homosexual (or a liar, or a fornicator, or an adulterer, or disrespectful to their mother), I will pray for their repentance and faith.

And notice that if you are honest with the child; if you tell that child they are a sinner in need of Christ; if you tell them that sin is real and that we need to know what honors God and what doesn’t; then you are likely the “unGodly” one he references.  Has there been hatred toward homosexuals?  Sure.  But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t legitimate concerns or that the position isn’t a transgression against God (just as there are people who wrongfully hate Jews, and have persecuted them; that doesn’t make the Gospel call to repentance and faith illegitimate).

I pray my children knows what sin is, that they have a deep conviction of its heinousness and their dire need for Christ.  I pray that they come to Christ, and that they desire to please Him by daily putting to death their sinful desires.

I WILL pray that God heals, changes, and fixes my children.  That is what Christ came to do…to fix the broken.

“For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” -Matthew 9:13



The post by the Methodist “pastor” is probably the most concerning one, especially since it ends with the predictable, “I really couldn’t care less [what you think]” line (an ABSOLUTELY unChristian thing for anyone to say), that essentially rules out any real discussion on the issue (or correction).  Thought is not at a premium in our society, emotions are, and it forms/informs the whole argument for this “pastor.”  It is most dangerous because this man purports to be a Christian—and what’s more, a pastor—all while protecting sin under the cloak of religiosity.  Moreover, the tenor of the article makes it seem that the opposite—to be against homosexuality—precludes one from praying, caring for, respecting, or loving their child.  These types of articles are not only misguided, they are wicked, and they need to be called such.

Careful you don’t idolize your kids.  God is above them and their feelings, He entrusted them to you, you’d (we’d) do well to consider what that means for your (our) parenting.




~ by TSL on October 4, 2014.

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